Paint Your Prayers

    Have You ever try to paint Your prayers?
I believe that anyone can paint prayers.Sometimes in life we have difficult season,in all sorts of doing,relationships..Especially in very hard time,like loosing love ones.
Few days ago my son died.Conventional prayers seemed not to be satisfying my heart.I was bleadind indise me.My adoring one was all day with me,talking and tolking through the mails.We imagined my darling son like a bird somewhere up in the timeless world.It was good thought.I loved her for stood by me.But then came night.Night with darkness,sorrow came back,my heart was breaking and breaking.In the morning I found little white fether on my window.I did smile,in my heart I take it like a sign from my son.
Then it came more taught time;time for my transplatation of bone marrow.Few days I felt good,then my body was starting to rejeck donors marrow.I was loosing my kidneys were in bad shape after so many medications and kemo theraphy.I was alone.I am alone.We are always alone in this time.
I could not reach my voice towards God,Creator of Life,Mather Nature what ever You call them deep down in Yourself.I wanted so much to live,I thought how unffair is all that.In time when I found someone who do care,i was loosing the only thing I have,my own life.
All seemed to be black.No hope.No reason for begg anyone.No one can save me from cold death.I had terible nightmares.I refuse to take anything for sleeping.Why?I wanted to be in my own bright spirit when the death come for me.
Then I remember one beautiful thing my beloved ones told me.
She,as an artist have so inspirational thoughts.I cannot share this here with You only in one reason,I want to keep her name safe down in my Heart.
I try to imagine how to paint that what She told me.So,I did paint in my mind the most beautiful picture:
marine blue sky with no clouds..two litlle birds dancing in the air,soaring and diving like the most esquizite dancers..i knew,i knew in my heart that they were praying for my life….
I was so touched by that..I could not speak,I hardly stop to breath.My picture looks like having her own live,she looked alive..all the souden I saw many bireds coming from all of the worlds,there were doing Rainbow bouquet,like my love will say..
@ & gt …….
I did knew,that was my painting with inner child prayers.I knew,nothing can be stopped what came from eternaty,my love for Her will live endless..
So,I open my bloodly heart and let her to fly.
If She doesn’t come back it would means that She never loved me in first place.
But if She come back my love with always be in Her Heart.

I do love You all!
May Lord brings You joy and Love
your friend milena


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